11 going on 2

Why is it that my 11 (almost 12) year old son acts worse than my 4 year old son? I am trying to get him ready for his 1st boy scout camp and all I hear is complaining, whining and rudeness!? Oh it just gives me a headache. I am at my wits end with this behavior.  Something has got to give.  It has been going on for far too long now.  We came straight back from a trip to the store without buying one darn thing on our long list because of his behavior.  Right now as a punishment he will be spending time in his room.  I have a few things that we are going to start doing this summer to rememdy this, but I am open for suggestions too!

One of the things that I told him will happen, is that I will not sign him up for anything else.  If he wants to participate then he will have to be the one to take the responsiblity.  I refuse to hear complaints about how he doesn't want to do it again.  It is time that he takes that responsibility and has no one to blame but him.  I love him dearly, but I know that I can not tolerate this any longer.  I want my child to be kind and helpful, not whiny and rude!!!

I made a lunch every day :)

I am proud to say that I made my boy's a lunch every day they went to school this year!!  They did not eat cafeteria food one single time!  It was easy because I bought Ziploc containers that had 3 compartment's that fit a sandwich, chips and a treat perfectly.  I didn't have to throw away anything, everything was used again.  I am sure that I saved money too!

Showing Gods love even when you don't feel like it.

It's been kind of a bummer of a day.  In church, I asked god to take away the anger and resentment and hurt I was feeling.  The message was about LOVE; showing love to everyone even when they have hurt you.  Sometimes that is one of the hardest lesson's!  I want to cry out and ask why and demand answers.  It wouldn't be nice of me or probably make me feel better either.

I was very hurt by friends because they chose to not invite me to a girls night.  I am sure it was not intentional by some or that some even thought of including me.  but the ones that did is what makes it hurt.  I don't think that I was even supposed to know and wouldn't have had my mother in law not told me and probably assumed I already knew about.  I would have loved to go and I could have gotten a babysitter easy since husband and oldest son were already out of town.  The more I found out about it the more it makes me feel bad/sad.  I know that there are other people left out too at times and it's not a good feeling.  I especially like to participate when I can go alone and have good conversations with other women.  I don't like wondering if I wasn't invited because of something that I did.  I am good for more than just being a teacher or babysitting.

I don't like to go around and pretend that I am fine about it to the people that know.  It turns me away from wanting to go there or be involved.  I am praying about it.  I want God to give me the desire to show his love and kindness even when I don't want too!

We had a message on the answering machine the other day.  Someone we knew in college passed away.  He found out a month ago he had liver cancer.  He died Friday.  His wife writes a blog and in it she said that she didn't know how to pay the bills, because her husband did it.  She was going to stay in bed until they took his body away.  So sad :(  It is so blunt and in your face when you are faced with how short your life is.  You want to turn away from the reality of what if that were you and your family.

In my mind the things I think about dying are:

• what about my kids?  I want them to know how much I love them and will miss them.
• will my husband know how to make food or wash clothes?  I really hope so (I have been trying to teach the boys how to use the washer and dryer, so they can become independent :)
• make sure my husband knows my passwords and can pay bills and get into the safe deposit box
• i want my family to be happy

I remember what I was doing that day

There are certain times in your life that you just don't forget.  Wedding, baby's birth, baptism, May 3 1999 tornado, April 19 1995 and September 11 2001.  

I know exactly what I was doing that morning.  I was getting ready to get my retainer adjusted at the dentist at 9am.  I got up early to eat a good breakfast because I knew that I wouldn't be able to take out the retainer for hours afterward.  My first son was only 14 months old at the time and he was still in bed.  We had plane tickets to go to Wisconsin in about a week.  The phone rang and it was my mother in law telling me to turn on the TV, the world trade center had been struck by airplanes.  I won't forget the feeling I had that day and the sadness for all the people who lost their lives that day.  All flights were canceled, the lines to get gasonline was a mile long, people began lining up to give blood.  It was just crazy.  Our flights to Wisconsin got canceled and we had to drive instead.

Super Busy Lately

I am still here, just busy.

• I have been making cute stuffed cuddly things lately! (Picture coming soon.)
• I am learning Adobe light-room. I have to say it is pretty fantastic so far. :) It makes editing pictures so much easier.
• We have been doing a lot of family things lately too. Watermelon Festival, Grady County Fair, and Dollar movies.
• Tomorrow we are going to an amusement park.

Yea I am so excited about that!

Fun pictures

Aren't they just the cutest!