Friday, October 12, 2012

Written in January of 2012:

I became a stay at home mom 11.5 yrs ago.  When I was pregnant, I didn't know if I would like being a sahm or not.  It was hard for me then.  We had a new baby, moved to another town, my husband had a new job and I had no friends.  I think that is what happens when you become a mom and move away.  All the people i had known lived somewhere else.  I didn't have anyone to talk to about breastfeeding that was my age.  It was lonely.  As time passed it became better.  I had a few friends and knew other moms with babies.  We bought house and had another baby.  I enjoyed it.  It grows on you.  When you realize how important raising a little person is, you know that you are doing the right thing.  Even when it becomes difficult.  We later had a 3rd boy and it was a lot harder than i thought it would be.  The oldest was in school all day and the middle only half a day.  You have to drag your baby out in the weather 3 times a day.  It really sucked.  Taking 3 kids shopping is difficult.  Staying a home all day without another adult is way more difficult.  By the time the day ended I was exhausted and still felt sad that all i had done that day was for other people, even though it is for you own children.  Fast forward 4 yrs.  My youngest is on the verge of all day school next year.  I have to decide what I am going to do for me now.  I kind of look forward to it and it is sad also.  No little babies at home anymore.  But I still have to be available for school functions, sick days, etc....I think that I am ready for this.  I have gone out and worked a few times since having kids, and the whole time I missed them.  Staying home is a huge sacrifice!  Mentally, physically and financially.  We don't have new cars or go on vacations.  Our savings is very little and there is always an unexpected expense (mainly car repairs).  Our kids don't have fancy music lessons or fancy shoes/clothes.  Sometimes that makes me sad.  I only want them to have nice things and be able to take advantage of all opportunities.  But I know that it also makes you work harder and appreciate everything that you do have.  That is a good thing too :)