Sunday, May 20, 2012

Showing Gods love even when you don't feel like it.

It's been kind of a bummer of a day.  In church, I asked god to take away the anger and resentment and hurt I was feeling.  The message was about LOVE; showing love to everyone even when they have hurt you.  Sometimes that is one of the hardest lesson's!  I want to cry out and ask why and demand answers.  It wouldn't be nice of me or probably make me feel better either.

I was very hurt by friends because they chose to not invite me to a girls night.  I am sure it was not intentional by some or that some even thought of including me.  but the ones that did is what makes it hurt.  I don't think that I was even supposed to know and wouldn't have had my mother in law not told me and probably assumed I already knew about.  I would have loved to go and I could have gotten a babysitter easy since husband and oldest son were already out of town.  The more I found out about it the more it makes me feel bad/sad.  I know that there are other people left out too at times and it's not a good feeling.  I especially like to participate when I can go alone and have good conversations with other women.  I don't like wondering if I wasn't invited because of something that I did.  I am good for more than just being a teacher or babysitting.

I don't like to go around and pretend that I am fine about it to the people that know.  It turns me away from wanting to go there or be involved.  I am praying about it.  I want God to give me the desire to show his love and kindness even when I don't want too!


Anonymous said...

Pick up your chin, Brandi. If you can bring yourself to do it in a loving way, I suggest you say something simple like, "Hey, did I upset someone or did y'all just think I'd say no?"

A lot of times it's best to come right out and ask. Even if the answer is bad, it's usually not as bad as the ten thousand wrong answers you make up in your head.

I've said a prayer of peace for you and hope you feel better soon.

- Another 'Brand Young' who happened upon your post while monitoring the mention of my (our) name online.

brandi76 said...

Thank you so much Ms Brandi. Nice to know there is another Brandi somewhere with such kind words to say. Your comment is very appreciated and it is exactly what I plan on doing.